When you decided to homeschool your strong willed child you might have envisioned doing many things together and learning some things right along with them.
I am sure that you did not envision the frustrations and struggles you would have with your loving child. I don’t think I was the only one with rose colored glasses.
Now think of your child in 5 or 10 years looking back on these times.
What memories do you hope they will have? Do you envision the relationship strong or strained?
You took on homeschooling your child out of love and concern as their mother.
Now is the time to develop a plan to have these times be what you want them to remember as a time of growing close and having many adventures together.
Plan with the end goal in mind, don’t be overruled by the struggles of today.
During your shared time together in these homeschool years you have the power to ensure these times will be bonding and filled with good memories.
When things get in a turmoil over the homeschool day, follow these steps to restore the relationship.
- Take some time away from the situation.
Even if you just get away behind a locked bathroom door for a little bit.
Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, repeat a few times. Sounds silly but this does help in putting the situation in perspective.
Is it detrimental to their life or education?
Most likely not.
You might just feel upset because they are not doing the math lesson, no matter how hard you are pushing them to.
This may be their frustration and inability to express their confusion over an assignment.
It might be able to be learned in a game or fun way, or even learned on an online math program to eliminate the stress between you. There are so many options now for different learning styles.
- Know that this issue should not ruin the relationship.
Strong willed kids and parents should not butt heads in a power struggle, don’t make this the issue.
Relationships are more important.
Good strong relationships, not instant obedience, can help prevent a major teenager rebelling period.
In families that work together to solve problems, value each other, have a common goal, and spend time enjoying each others company are less likely to have major rebellion.
- Talk to your child after you have both calmed down, in a neutral way so they are not on the defense.
Ask them what caused the outburst during the lesson.
Did they not understand, was it difficult for them, were they upset over something else? They might not have even known what caused it or be able to explain.
Discuss what can be done differently to express their frustrations, let them know you will listen, and that you will help them work it out.
They might just need some time between lessons to release energy.
They need to know that they need to react differently, but they will be listed to and taken seriously.
- Make sure to set aside time spent together to enjoy and just have fun.
You could play games, put puzzles together, read to them a book they picked out, cooking, so many options!
Listen to their ideas and do a few of them throughout your days.
Strong willed kids need to feel heard.
- Plan adventures together and have good memories to last a lifetime.
This could be a simple tradition of a weekly picnic with a time of each of you sharing things that you notice in the other one that you are thankful for or appreciate that they had done.
Look at your town through the eyes of a tourist and do something you don’t usually do. Brainstorm ideas together.
Follow these steps when you are in the thick of it with your child to have a good relationship while homeschooling. Listen to the clues, as the mother, to help your child through struggles and make this time together successful.
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